the vineyard and vinedresser

I spent a lot of this morning and last night going through the events of the day before in my mind. You can probably tell that this is going to be another convoluted attempt at saying something. It's all so much clearer in my head before I try to write it out.

Last evening, after my run along boat house row, a gardener and member of one of the boat houses asked if I would like to see her grapes. She had been growing the cabernet sauvignon grapes for three years and this year, rather than getting a couple dozen bunches, she had a 100 already. The first question i asked her was if they were ready. they're not.

Then last night i talked to B, finally...after watching a long, but slightly sweet, romantic family movie, then going for this run. He proceeded to tell me about his roomates' keeping him up; it was something about anger and cheating. I cringed at the thought of having any sort of argument like that partially cause it's not my style. Well, then it was my turn to talk about my night. I didn't quite know where to begin because i wasn't exactly prepared to say everything. i had debated whether or not to say anything, but in all of this, the good lord would have it that i did and that i can't quite lie.

Shoot, i may still have no idea about what happened or why. I want to say it is because things are not cut and dry between me and B. they're complicated, he would say.

The connection in all of this occured this morning, after another short run, but this time by the local creek. I started to read a devotional titled vineyards and god or something like that. At this point, I had already been playing the events in my mind and i could not get over the irony of him telling me about his roomate and then my story (i know i haven't said everything about "my story" but it's not terribly important to the point of this blog). The point is that the two stories together was rather ironic. So i asked God, why? what was the purpose?

I messed up and made a stupid decision. I feared and still fear the consequences. I praised God for always forgiving me and not making it too difficult (at least never too difficult that, in him, i was never able to deal/ manage it). Then I read about fruits, vines, vinedressers...the passage was drawn from John 18. i think. Two weeks ago, we read the same passage in its entirety at family group.

For me it was a reminder that my actions should bear fruit and glorify God's name. The irony in that was i had met a vinedresser the day before and i had stories that intertwined and i noticed them. God is always active. always. This morning was bittersweet, recognizing God's activity in my life, knowing that he will guide the waters the way he wants them and that i have to work harder to nurture my vines by being more obedient, by listening closer, my recognizing Him in all I do, all the time.

maybe tomorrow, i'll post some of the pictures of the boys from their last couple of days here in Philadelphia. I miss San Diego. I miss B's face.