idleness breeds not good things......
so...
i need to pray. i need to equip myself with the word of God and the Truth.
Breathless
5 years ago
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
running a race.
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? run in such a way as to get the prize. everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. they do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. therefore i do not run like a man running aimlessly; i do not fight like a man beating the air. no, i beat my body and make it my slave so that after i have preached to others, i myself will not be disqualified for the prize" (1 cor. 9:44- 27).
"to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die" (Ecc. 3:1-2).
"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21).
"to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die" (Ecc. 3:1-2).
"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21).
Thursday, November 27, 2008
hello rain.
happy thanksgiving everyone. lamentations is helping me uncover a question that has been on my mind about god's will and his sovereignty over things that are both good and bad. I guess what i am trying to say is that i still wonder why bad things happen. anyway, i was just 'bible dipping' when i found lamentations and He continues to work in our lives. I know that god is alive and well.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Couldn't resist
okay so i'm hanging out in a rehab center that has the feel of a nursing care facility. I am typing this blog in the family/recreation education center which comes complete with two desktop computers, a fold out table, old pamphlets on strokes, ear and eye monitors, a sink, and two unplugged tv's on movable carts. To say the least, this is bizarre, but i relish these odd moments in life. I have no idea what's going to happen here (we - my dad and I - may be leaving tomorrow or we might be "stuck" here for two weeks), but i have already befriended one of the nurses and I feel like i know the Sharp hospital system pretty well now, nearly a month into...(i was going to say something unexpected, but in life you are to expect the unexpected and persevere through trials. so, i have no one or two words to describe what my dad's brain tumor means to me).
On another interesting note, i'll be sleeping in a hospital bed tonight in the same room as my dad. We brushed our teeths together just five minutes ago before i helped him to his bed.
My father's balance and speech is still off kilter (expectedly) and i am thankful that our insurance will be covering rehabilitation. I have no idea how much of the tumor is gone and what is already growing back. A part of me thinks that rehab is a fruitless exercise, but i have to hold on to some hope that God can make the frightening prognosis that was given to us about my dad another example of His powerful word over man's word.
I look forward to keeping you updated.
Hang
On another interesting note, i'll be sleeping in a hospital bed tonight in the same room as my dad. We brushed our teeths together just five minutes ago before i helped him to his bed.
My father's balance and speech is still off kilter (expectedly) and i am thankful that our insurance will be covering rehabilitation. I have no idea how much of the tumor is gone and what is already growing back. A part of me thinks that rehab is a fruitless exercise, but i have to hold on to some hope that God can make the frightening prognosis that was given to us about my dad another example of His powerful word over man's word.
I look forward to keeping you updated.
Hang
Monday, November 17, 2008
the choices we make
my question of the day: what would your response be when choosing life means dying now?
I spent most of the car ride from the hospital thinking about the irony of this question, of choosing god and eternal life over life on earth. some of the confusion might be in the definition of life. the rest of it, i think lies in understanding god's complete and faithful sacrifice for us. To remember that he took on flesh and died for us and that no other departure could be so painful would suggest that leaving this world is not all that terrible and in fact, with hope in God, it is plainly better.
Dr. Ghosh has said that the tumor has infiltrated most of my father's left brain hemisphere and that it may have metastasized to the right side. i can't lie, that was and is very scary news. and, and i am still upset that we could not have gone in for surgery a lot sooner. the diagnosis of a 5 cm x 5cm brain tumor was made on October 23rd and we did not go into surgery until today, November 17th. That...that is absurd.
BUT i have hope that with even our stupid choices and careless mistakes, God's hand is in our lives and He will take care of it.
peace and blessings.
I spent most of the car ride from the hospital thinking about the irony of this question, of choosing god and eternal life over life on earth. some of the confusion might be in the definition of life. the rest of it, i think lies in understanding god's complete and faithful sacrifice for us. To remember that he took on flesh and died for us and that no other departure could be so painful would suggest that leaving this world is not all that terrible and in fact, with hope in God, it is plainly better.
Dr. Ghosh has said that the tumor has infiltrated most of my father's left brain hemisphere and that it may have metastasized to the right side. i can't lie, that was and is very scary news. and, and i am still upset that we could not have gone in for surgery a lot sooner. the diagnosis of a 5 cm x 5cm brain tumor was made on October 23rd and we did not go into surgery until today, November 17th. That...that is absurd.
BUT i have hope that with even our stupid choices and careless mistakes, God's hand is in our lives and He will take care of it.
peace and blessings.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
the heavens rejoice
Today a Vietnamese preacher guided my father in his first prayer. It was the prayer of salvation. Drenched in sweat and tears, my father repeated back the story of god's love for us and by simply believing, he brought the holy spirit into his heart and gained everlasting life.
My uncle witnessed the end of the prayer and later called me to ask why my dad was crying. My uncle said that 'it seems like this religion made him sad.' I told him "no," it's because he finally found the truth.
what made you cry when you accepted God into your heart? If you haven't, why not?
grace. uncompromised love.
My uncle witnessed the end of the prayer and later called me to ask why my dad was crying. My uncle said that 'it seems like this religion made him sad.' I told him "no," it's because he finally found the truth.
what made you cry when you accepted God into your heart? If you haven't, why not?
grace. uncompromised love.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Lessons from cancer care
1. ask for a second opinion before you do anything (still regretting this one).
2. get a copy of all of your files especially the pathology and MRI reports.
3. don't be afraid to get all the details about the procedure and find out what the hospital is equipped to do. Do they have the technology to do an awake craniotomy?
4. if you are caring for someone, get the general power of attorney and the medical power of attorney and get the authorizations/releases to the medical records office early so you won't have any trouble getting the slides.
5. have faith, think positive, there is no fear in love/god.
6. ask for guidance from GOD FIRST.
almost three weeks after the diagnosis and the tumor is still growing... come on healthcare. question of the day: what is a reasonable timeline after diagnosis of a brain tumor? if my dad was a Kennedy, i'm guessing we would not have been asked to wait this long for treatment. just a guess.
2. get a copy of all of your files especially the pathology and MRI reports.
3. don't be afraid to get all the details about the procedure and find out what the hospital is equipped to do. Do they have the technology to do an awake craniotomy?
4. if you are caring for someone, get the general power of attorney and the medical power of attorney and get the authorizations/releases to the medical records office early so you won't have any trouble getting the slides.
5. have faith, think positive, there is no fear in love/god.
6. ask for guidance from GOD FIRST.
almost three weeks after the diagnosis and the tumor is still growing... come on healthcare. question of the day: what is a reasonable timeline after diagnosis of a brain tumor? if my dad was a Kennedy, i'm guessing we would not have been asked to wait this long for treatment. just a guess.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
something surreal
when i think about my smiles, i start to think about whether or not they are real. With God, we can have an eternity, but so often, time feels short. I'm sitting on my bed, in a dark room except for the light of this computer screen and the few glow in the dark stars that are still left from over a decade ago. My heart slowly beats but it also cringes. I am at once compelled to write down the thoughts dancing in my head and lost in emotions.
Is the question whether or not he will survive? Or is it not a question at all and just wonder, a time to see that with pain, comes blessings. Am i smiling outwardly so that I can feel that way inside?
God, where to?
Is the question whether or not he will survive? Or is it not a question at all and just wonder, a time to see that with pain, comes blessings. Am i smiling outwardly so that I can feel that way inside?
God, where to?
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