wrapping up the first year with some musculoskeletal work; I am not ready for it to end, but it's going to whether I want it or not. It ending means it's been nearly a year since my dad died. I want him here, want to keep his memory alive, but there are things I have to let go of... I am rambling because it's been so stinkin long since I've written anything. I am headed to Viet Nam is a less than two weeks and I cannot wait to find peace there; I can't wait to be in the town where my dad grew up.
I can't wait to do medicine and to stop being scared of it. My goal with med school is to be prepared for anything - to spend the time necessary to learn how to help people who are ill - I haven't quite gotten there yet so I guess, I better keep trying.
Identity crisis still? yea, not confident in who i'm supposed to be (break out in song) or ...i forgot the words. Just exactly what am I good at - where is my potential - and how do i focus on making those things good.
I'm God's child. I love it, but I hate fighting other people's positivity with negativity. it is such a natural response for me yet when someone else is neg, i have no problem being positive. so...i probably do have an argumentative streak (Oppositional defiant disorder). well curse word, what do i do with that?
Ask me if i've retained anything from this year? If i do a head check now, it feels so empty. weighty head. I'm more sick and unhealthy now than I have been EVER. crud. BUT, I did start running again and yesterday's 20 min run wasn't so bad, had a little spring to my step. I better not stop. athersclerotic clot build up is a little excessive and what the heck am i doing eating chicken that has been left out all day. tsk tsk.
MEXICO THIS WEEKEND FOR liga trip. super amped about it. super thankful for the man who encouraged me to go.
church. god. catholicism? christianity. JESUS. so interesting = meaningful discovery.
the end. Gonna get back to reading things about things.
tabla rasa.
Breathless
5 years ago
