almost there, i swear it.

give me a couple more hours and i think i'll have a solid outline for my second and possibly final essay for D.O. school. so, that's exciting news but i thought i'd throw a question of the day out there:

how do you convince someone that has been given a death sentence by man, that each and every day before that time is worth living, and living well for God?

on another note, keep your fingers crossed for me, i may be hitting some san diego waves today. Bradley?? i can't seem to get my board =(

la vida dulce.

just kidding, i can't dance.

ha. i just went to my first ever dance audition (after one day of introductory ballet) and then bought lunch from 7/11 so i can't go for a swim, but i get to love life enough to write that i couldn't follow any of the choreography for the life of me. it was an experience. i think i'll be living vicariously through my kids as i fully intend on putting them in dance class when 1) i have kids and 2) before they can walk =)

but angie - thanks for the ballet shoes. maybe i can try out again in 10 years.

love.

what's your thing?

i had to write because i just got really excited about something and i couldn't express it via med school essay which is still a work in progress. it has to be done by the end of this week... crap. eh, we will see what happens. if any admission counselors are reading this, i really do want to become a bonafide doctor. People keep telling me there is no money in it anymore. How do you tell them you don't care? I could care less how much I make, I just want to learn the skills and use it to help. it's so simple.

that was tangential. I had my first ballet class today. it's been at least 10 years since i've been in a leotard and tights and everyone, including myself, finds it strange. i wasn't comfortable wearing my dance clothes until I left the locker room and found a line of girls and two boys, along the wall waiting for our dance instructor, all wearing tights. It felt like middle school all over again and I could not stop smiling; i mean, to be in middle school again would be something else.

so there we were, black leotard, pink tights...except mine were tan, i missed the first class and apparently missed what color tights i needed. After some much needed stretching and some french movements, the instructor came up to me and asked to see me after class. what the heck have i done? was she going to ask me to join the intermediate class? whoa. haha...i'm not that good. She asked me to audition for her dance. I was stoked. seriously? it felt as good as catching those waves in hawaii, which by the way, gave me some of the best feelings ever. And to think, it will be even better when i meet God.

So I will be auditioning for her dance on Friday. It wouldn't matter if i didn't get a part, i'm just amped about trying out for a dance ensemble. it takes balls to try out for something and i've always wanted to do it. as for the bottom line, i've been talking to my friends about having something to call your own. I still want to work on the photography and maybe sketching. i tried music. it was a bad idea; though sometimes, i think in my head that i can do it. so, maybe i can have dance. We'll throw in surfing too just for good measure =).

i wished i had photos to show you guys of my surf sessions. the irony perhaps was that my surf sessions was with a new friend named brandon. oh chuckles.

breathing.

wasting time, again?

just realized it's been awhile since i've written anything... i'm just praying that I will spend more time in prayer... God, i want to understand your heart, I want to ask and to obey you by faith EVERY SINGLE DAY.

help me serve you and to show my dad the happiness and peace that only your eternal grace and everlasting promises can bring.

if we live everyday without regret, what does that look like? how do you not waste seconds/time? what's this path that you have outlined for my life?

preach it pastor...

oh my!

From God's Smuggler (somewhere between self-help and new bibles in my sister's bookshelf)...
i love it and came across some gems ;)

uno - "Time and place are our own limitations, Andy; we mustn't impose them upon God."

dos (some questions i've been asking too) - The pray through: "What is it, Lord?" What am i holding back? What am I using as an excuse for not serving You in whatever You want me to do?"...I prayed through coffee-and-cigar hour, right through sunday afteroon, and on into the evening.

"lord, if you will show me the way, I will follow you."

buenas noches.

word of the day

unsuccessfully studying for the GRE's -

jettison:to discard; to get rid of as unneccessary or encumbering.
jettison my not-so-fun thoughts?

i lie to myself

the same way that problems can't be resolved within 30 second commercials... the way my heart hurts for you hasn't gone away. I wish it was a matter of strength, but it's more a matter of fact that i can still taste you on my lips. i hear music and it breathes life into something that doesn't exist anymore and i want to punch the wall, hide my head under a pillow, but i can't get away from you.

just let me get over this..........

looking for sleep.