without one

i was trying to come up with some clever title for this morning's post, but I am without one and my heart is lost. Just let me praise Him. You are a glorious god and i am so thankful for another day on this earth, for your breath of life.

"i am alive and well and your spirit dwells within me."

...whatever is on my mind is a jumbled mess and nothing is coming to me. Was their irony in last night's events?

Monday mornings

it's a little humid in the office. i biked to work. changed at the office. i have enough work to do to keep me occupied for the next 24 hours, but i'm having a hard time focusing.

i think i might need a picture of you on my desk to keep you next to me where i would prefer to have you. I'm not a big fan of this whole checking of the phone/email biz to see if you called so i'm going to do my best to chill out. i've got poverty to end. or at least some posters to make right now.

God, you are a living god. holy spirit, find rest in me. the word is definitely sanctify.

Back in Philly.

Next stop Kansas, but first... a whole lot of getting back into the groove of things. I want to be at peace with God. I definitely don't want to be anxious about anything and I would like to share all of these experiences with the people i love and care about most.

So first thing to share... my new office space with wonderful interns!

Secondly, I walked to work today. It was great just practicing how not to be anxious. I thought a lot about a lot of different things. One random thought is that i tend to say hello to people and then immediately look away. What if i did not do that? well one, the guy or girl may get the wrong idea and i'll either end up in an altercation or a conversation about why i don't give my number out to people i just meet randomly. But besides that, I would really like to come up with some cool thing to say like "hey, i was just sharing a moment with you because we are all brothers and sisters in christ." i'll have to work on that. i wish people would not have alterior motives.

i miss san diego. i miss the waves, the ocean, my family, people that have somehow become incredible friends. That may be a topic for another day, but essentially, how in the world does good friends happen? Am i not sharing enough of me and so i hold back in some ways that makes me feel like we may not be the greatest of friends, but yet i am able to make people believe that we are great friends? Strange dichotomies all day. Perhaps it's a sort of friendship in training...you act like it until you really are. that seems like an odd way of doing it. In high school i think i always ended up caring for people a whole lot more than they cared for me...and maybe now i am too scared of putting myself out there. who knows?

silly question. God, you know my heart. Bless me and guide me.

Love always,

your daughter.

sweet, sweet breeze

I think Philly is trying to send me off in style. the weather is a perfect 80 with gentle breeze. I had what was probably one of the best bike rides to work this morning. Don't get me wrong, I am no athlete, the ride is a short 2 miles and mostly downhill. but that's what made it so fantastic because the cool breeze felt (speaking of breeze, i took a break to try to open my office window to no avail; i can see the leaves rustling, but i am stuck inside) amazing, liberating, calling me home (am i refusing to go just because i know that it's just a feeling and I am supposed to stay or am i too afraid to go?)...i don't know, i was just excited to be given the breath of life.

it's 8:36am and a tuesday so that means i still have almost 3 days (2 and a half) before i'm in SD. there are many people and places I am excited about seeing. I am trying to calm my nerves because i am way too anxious right now and God says, do not be.

I really just want to chill and take things easy: no fretting about the what was or what will be and enjoy the gift of today. that sounds about right, right?

I learned that if i praise him with my lips, despite the emotions that have me riled up inside, the "answers" are more likely to come to me. My stomach seems to settle when I praise him. (the picture has absolutely nothing to do with today. I just wanted to share a photo of some of the kids that had the privilege of going white water rafting with me because in reality, i am actually pretty athletic and when my team was racing down the river (there were three other ACHIEVEability boats), we won.

PEACE.

August 8th and second chances

As the volunteer manager, i get to make decisions about who can volunteer and who can't. I don't do it alone. I generally ask the would be supervisor of our new volunteer if he/she can work with this person. Today, I gave one of our volunteers a second interview. He has a criminal background - three misdemeanors. A woman took him to court saying that he raped her. The charges were dropped and he was left with the three minor offenses, one of which was unlawful restraint. As a proponent of volunteerism and of people, I've decided to give him a chance, but i'm a little scared. My boss sort of questioned my decision but she agreed that it would be okay. He'll be painting our vacant houses and helping the maintenance crew with some light carpentry work. God - i'm just praying that his heart is as pure as he says and that i am not putting anyone else at risk - including myself.

we should give everyone second/third/fourth chances right? He says this is the first place that would look at him seriously and take him in as a volunteer. so....that's my story for the day. i moved out of my office today, but i'm really excited to be in a more open work environment. Our intern this summer and our philly fellow are sharing the space with me. I love creative synergy.

as deep cries out to deep

i have so much to say about this but it will have to wait for another day.

peace and love in christ,

Hang

All who are thirsty andAll who are weakJust come to the fountainDip your heart in the Stream of LifeLet the pain and the sorrow be washed awayIn the waves of His mercy (mercy )As deep cries out to deep(Reapeat all)As deep cries out to deep (x2)Chorus:We sing, come Lord Jesus come (You are all that we want)Come Lord Jesus come (You are all that we need)Come Lord Jesus come (You are all that we want)Come Lord Jesus come (to all who are thirsty)All who are thirsty... (Repeat verse)Won't You come (x2)As deep cries out to deep (x7)(Repeat) ChorusAs deep cries out to deep (x4)Holy SpiritHoly Spirit come (let singing out, lift out your voice, and ask for His presence)Holy Spirit come (We want You to come)Holy Spirit come (We want You to drove near)Holy Spirit come, oh comeHoly Spirit come, comeHoly Spirit come, now how ever You willHoly Spirit comeCry come,We cry come (x2)You are all what we want,Just come…!And You are all that we need,Just comeAs deep cries out to deep (x7)There is a hungry stirring inside my soulI know is more than this (x2)As deep cries out to deep (x4)We sing, come Lord Jesus come (I know there is more than this)Come lord Jesus come (there is more than this)Come lord Jesus come (oh oh oh )Come lord Jesus come (let lift your voices and ask for His presence)Come!Just come!Is all about You, is all about YouWe cry, Holy Spirit come oh ohHoly Spirit come, oh comeAs deep cries out to deep (x2)We are waiting here,As deep cries out to deep, in the middle of the nightAs deep cries out to deep, we want nothing elseAs deep cries out to deep, sing come Lord JesusCome Lord Jesus, come (You are all that we want)Come Lord Jesus, come (and You are all that we need)Come Lord Jesus come (we don’t want to go without Your presence oh God)Come lord Jesus comeJust come

Mostly photos... I've been meaning to update it with the last set of photos, but my computer has been slow and maybe that gave me enough time to not miss Charlie and Timothy so much. I hope they grew.

This was their aero plane (is that completely different from airplane? the word is so much sexier... maybe from a red hot chilli pepper song?) I got to/had to see the plane take off before i could leave the boys.
The boys getting onto the plane. there were 6 unaccompanied minors (or U.M.s) on that flight.

Public Art. i love it.

outside of the train station on our way to the airport.

at the airport after finishing out third yu gi oh book this summer. Jaden defeated the vampire lady.

in the train station (i know the order is off)

On our last day, we read, played video games, went to see journey to the center of the earth and played some more at the arcade in the movie theatres. It was my first time too at Pearl theatres.

this is one our trolley stops...right next to a cemetary. i didn't have a chance to walk through the cemetary with the boys.

"the button" right next to Penn's library. the boys were so upset with me that i made them walk through my college campus.

their bedroom while they were here, at least for all but one night. they decorated it with yu gi oh print outs and two posters they took from naruto or yu gi oh library books. I hope that wasn't too bad.

Charles hanging out in my office. I'll be moving offices soon :(

CHEESESTEAKS.

GIANT CHEESESTEAK. the three of us split this one.

Tim and group 6.

Charles and his group, 10.

Thanks to one of Charles' camp counselors, i have a couple behind the scene shots. i'll bring the prints when i get back to SD.

I guess that's it. Pray for them.