There are far more people in far worst conditions. I cannot complain. I wanted to share a revelation I had yesterday after texting a friend about his not so happy situation. I realized that it is easy to forget for who and why we are living. And to remember but to not live life in that way, with Christ, for Christ, is still more complicated.
I am having a difficult time feeling that this life is more than nothing. There is a deep black hole where my heart is. I am tired today and want to escape the rejection that I feel when my father refuses to get out of bed. Where is the joy and the happiness of his life? How have I allowed his struggles to take away the contentment in my life?
I need to walk by faith. I need to not seek out short lasting adventures and happiness from the world. I am afraid of dying and I am afraid to lose the people that I love. I spent some time with my grandmother yesterday and she had so many questions for me. She also had a strong smile and a healthy 80 year-old asian woman frame. What brings her peace and joy? How did she come to find it?
Breathless
5 years ago
1 comment:
"80 year old Asian woman frame"? I know exactly what you mean.
Sometimes I think we're cursed with having a mind that can wander into the past and future, while our bodies are forever stuck in the present. Our two parts are rarely ever in sync. But other times, it's not such a curse.
I look forward to the day when things get better for you. Remember Beth Orton! "Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier..." Nothing is permanent, not even pain.
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