Break Me Down

or perhaps more A Collection of Thoughts.

i noticed the leaves were changing today. it was quite a revelation. i like the fall. i am nervous about the fall. for the past two years, we have had a harvest festival for the kids and the community and I worked on these projects with Pete. Pete is leaving Philadelphia. That broke me down last night. My boss resigned. That broke me down. I can't understand why you put people in our lives, people you are supposed to love and care for, and why 3000 miles is so far away. That broke me down. I realized I haven't spent any time with my brothers and sisters who are homeless and hurting. That broke me down. Break me down so that i can experience your love, break me down so that i can love deeply the way that you love us.

i rode my bike down a grassy hill and it was fabulous. I think i like riding bikes on trails and so instead of trails today, i rode along the broken sidewalk which i made myself believe resembled a very rough trail. i used to avoid trails.
i spent time with just God today and that was wonderful.

i am praying from the depths of my heart for Him to break me down so that i can experience all of his love.