Next stop Kansas, but first... a whole lot of getting back into the groove of things. I want to be at peace with God. I definitely don't want to be anxious about anything and I would like to share all of these experiences with the people i love and care about most.
So first thing to share... my new office space with wonderful interns!
Secondly, I walked to work today. It was great just practicing how not to be anxious. I thought a lot about a lot of different things. One random thought is that i tend to say hello to people and then immediately look away. What if i did not do that? well one, the guy or girl may get the wrong idea and i'll either end up in an altercation or a conversation about why i don't give my number out to people i just meet randomly. But besides that, I would really like to come up with some cool thing to say like "hey, i was just sharing a moment with you because we are all brothers and sisters in christ." i'll have to work on that. i wish people would not have alterior motives.
i miss san diego. i miss the waves, the ocean, my family, people that have somehow become incredible friends. That may be a topic for another day, but essentially, how in the world does good friends happen? Am i not sharing enough of me and so i hold back in some ways that makes me feel like we may not be the greatest of friends, but yet i am able to make people believe that we are great friends? Strange dichotomies all day. Perhaps it's a sort of friendship in training...you act like it until you really are. that seems like an odd way of doing it. In high school i think i always ended up caring for people a whole lot more than they cared for me...and maybe now i am too scared of putting myself out there. who knows?
silly question. God, you know my heart. Bless me and guide me.
Love always,
your daughter.
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