For Pride's Sake

i can remember a time when I would cringe at the thought of my actions mattering very little or that, maybe i would read into "losing myself" and "saved by grace alone" as I'm not able to do anything on my own accord; that all i did or can do doesn't matter. You know what that is though? Pride.

I was full of pride and unwilling to let it go, to lose myself.

"no man is worthy of me who cares more for father or mother than me; no man is worhty of me who cares more for son or daughter; no many is worthy of me who does not take up his cross and walk in my footsteps. By gaining his life a man will lose it; by losing his life for my sake, he will gain it.

I count everything sheer loss, because all is far outweighed by the gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I did in fact lose everything."

In pride and fear, I held onto my own abilities and wouldn't let the god who created me lead me into the purpose for which i was created from nothing. Instead, i want to ask God everyday, why he gave me today and my breath of life for that day/that moment. how better to seize the day? To fully and completely see your purpose for every waking moment? to sometimes have to go on a limb and say i'm taking this step, but i don't know what tomorrow will bring because i don't know much and i don't have much to offer without You.

Pride is a Big Issue. It's not easy to handle and it comes out in so many ways. I believe there is a distinction between Pride and being proud though. Being proud elicits joy, pride is ego. Proud is contentment and peace, Pride is me over you and my abilities without learning from others. Pride induces jealousy. Can I be jealous that God, who created me, knows me better than me and knows my purpose better than me? Can I be jealous that he wants to be in the life of those he created? Or do i embrace it?

at the foot of your cross.
LOVE.