sadness sucks

there's no sugar coating this one. hmm...i'm sad because it's a beautiful day in san diego and i love san diego and i would much rather be outside right now playing in the ocean, building sand castles and loving on strangers than feeling couped up in my room, kinda hungry with nothing appetizing to eat, homework to do, daddy hopeless in the other room sleeping, good but melo enough to be sad jason mraz on the pandora, and a still unfulfilled vision of block parties that unite communities. sigh*tomorrow will be good. today (this moment), i just have to get through.

death and dying sucks too not just because it's unnatural in the sense that god created us for eternal life with Him, but because if we're dying/dead, is that god's way of saying we're better off dead to Him? we can do more for His kingdom dead than alive?

i want to watch a movie outside in a pool. sickness sucks too, i'm getting over it but still weak. my dad needs his friends and i need mine. staring at the philly fellows photo. that was fun.

procrastination sucks. or the feeling like you're procrastinating sucks. i am motivated by guilt??!