date - less

my sister told me that her mother in law told her not to remember dates and to just remember the life and the moments. so i guess i'm not looking at my watch and recognizing that it's been a little over a month.

today i lit a candle for you. i stared into the faces of your many photos. i wonder why i stare. each look, each glance reminds me that you are not here but i continue to stare. yo ingrain an image of you into my brain before my memory fades.

ba. con nho ba rat nhieu. con sin ba co ngay tot dep voi nguoi tuong.

step 1 - repeat - revisit

okay today my heart reaches in for a memory of my dad and me together - we were on a boat surrounded by the crashing thunderous roars of niagara falls - there is a hole in my heart where memories were scraped out and pulled to the surface.

how i want my heart to feel: peaceful and appreciative of that moment in time and space.

amen?

just wondering...
when do i stop wondering how you are?
when do i stop missing you?
when do i stop seeing you in photos and dying myself inside?
daddy - i miss you. i can't believe you're gone.
what's next? what's before me? what's behind me?
how do i do today?
it was too short.

life...you kill me sometimes with your madness. i was going to post this thought in my head on fb but then i got smart and realized it was too extreme for social media nonsense. who cares?

darn inception - it was so good - and it makes it so hard not to question reality.
people are so shady.

nuff said. this one for me goes on.

looking forward to tomorrow.

hard

in my head i wrote you a poem
but now i can't remember the words
it was the fondest farewell
the impressed truth
you are away in a better place

but today as i put your shirt away
i realize that this...
has been one of the hardest moments of my life
i miss you

Love,

your daughter

my heart on death

18 months to prepare
20 months of unnavigated paths
unknown
not enough time to realize he is gone
his touch, his breath
his embracing, piercing eyes
i knew he loved
through His grace
we shall meet again

bad experiment

nearly a month in and it's kinda crappy to put it lightly...well except for when i decide to write about it...and then i have to put life into perspective and i can't cry for myself because it really isn't that bad.

bla so now that i've started to write, wanting to write about how hard things are and woe is me, i can't.

and He forgives =)

dear dear...can i jump into roaring rapids and flounder around
spring into life
over mountains and hills
through clouds and next to you
glistening sand between toes and wind arms shroud
can we go there and dream